Svc bad dem jobs

...will have a humorous haiku that addresses one of those brutal truths that we need to know but don't want to hear. A couple of amateur examples: You are bad at sex Porn is not education Ask me what I like He does not text you Because he does not want to Don't complicate truth I am looking for haiku that are humorous in their simple truth. (They are actually only funny if you are not the receipient). They should not be malicious and they should not be so softened that the brutal truth is obscured. They should not have flowery poetic language. Some possible subjects are always being late, bad breath, always talking about yourself, being a bad listener, looking at your phone and ignoring people, breaking up with a romantic partner, breaking up with a frie...

You must be at least 16 years old and live in Eastern Europe or Latin America. ✻ PAYING YOU TO LEARN ✻ No. You aren't dreaming. I value intelligence and problem-solving ability over experience. I'd prefer to work with someone who is clever and learns quickly rather than som...corrupt local customs officials are greedy, not foolish. ✻ TIME FRAME ✻ This project must be completed within the next 60 (sixty) days. ✻ BEING WRONG ✻ Stand in front of a mirror and practice saying, “I was wrong.” Learn to smile when you say this. I am not joking. I’ve worked with many engineers; only two of them were excellent engineers. Both of them said, “I was wrong” frequently. Most bad engineers I worked with refused to utter the words, “I was wron...

...have permission from that site owner) Any bids received in the first 15 minutes will not be reviewed. It will take you at least that long to review to understand what needs to be implemented The site MUST be WCAG 2.2 Level AA compliant. No deviations. I will help you by doing an audit, but you must at least educate yourself on what is required in these guidelines to not make bad decisions. For example, everything must be keyboard accessible, there can't be motion that lasts over five seconds, and color choices are slightly restricted (these are just a few examples) Key Features and Requirements: - The website must include a well-integrated, user-friendly quiz with engaging questions and interactive elements. - The main purpose of the quiz is to capture participants&#...

Hi I think i have a bad from my email address. I host at "hobohost" so maybe that's the problem. Need to fix the issue to make my emails deliverable to all email clients.

...create a basic consultancy website for Industry and software topics. Important: - Please just continue if your bid is between $100 and $125 for implementing all the tasts described in this project. - I have very little time and usually cannot hang often at computer replying chat questions, so i am therefore expecting a selfdriven freelancer that can find his own answers. - As I already had some bad experiences with some professionals after having awarded them a project, I am herby requesting you to invest 1h of your time in providing me an advance of what your solution with my content would look like. Just post me here the link of the draft website so that I can check it. If I see the advance of a nice job (NOT the finished project!) then I will award you the project. - All the...

Hey there! I'm looking for s...that can identify regular website traffic from bot traffic using two datasets. I have two datasets in the form of JSON array with user analytics (with each dataset containing about 10,000 entries for each.) I prefer to use almost all possible features from these datasets, except confidence feature which can be disregarded. (Please check the dataset so you can get an idea) Datasets: Good Dataset Bad Dataset I have attached a sample from both so you can see. (In this sample, I only have one entry for you from each dataset.) Deliverables: Well documented Jupyter File Notebook (With clear steps, some data visualisation, testing, and also model should be saved in the end) Minimum Accuracy should be at least 90%. Deadline : 5th of May Max Budget...

Hello, I would like some more Rebel Riders motorcycle t shirt designs. I need some for the sayings: "Keep It Twisted" (skeleton hand on a throttle) "Good Girls Sit, Bad B*tches Ride" "Motorcycles & Mascara" "Life Behind Bars" a t shirt that says "BOOBS Two of My Favorite Things" with a side view of a motorcycle in the middle of the word so that the motorcycle wheels make up the "OO" So it would say "B(motorcycle)BS - Two of my favorite things" 300dpi, 45lpi, 12.5 in wide

Hey there! I'm looking for s...that can identify regular website traffic from bot traffic using two datasets. I have two datasets in the form of JSON array with user analytics (with each dataset containing about 10,000 entries for each.) I prefer to use almost all possible features from these datasets, except confidence feature which can be disregarded. (Please check the dataset so you can get an idea) Datasets: Good Dataset Bad Dataset I have attached a sample from both so you can see. (In this sample, I only have one entry for you from each dataset.) Deliverables: Well documented Jupyter File Notebook (With clear steps, some data visualisation, testing, and also model should be saved in the end) Minimum Accuracy should be at least 90%. Deadline : 5th of May Max Budget...

Hey there! I'm looking for s...that can identify regular website traffic from bot traffic using two datasets. I have two datasets in the form of JSON array with user analytics (with each dataset containing about 10,000 entries for each.) I prefer to use almost all possible features from these datasets, except confidence feature which can be disregarded. (Please check the dataset so you can get an idea) Datasets: Good Dataset Bad Dataset I have attached a sample from both so you can see. (In this sample, I only have one entry for you from each dataset.) Deliverables: Well documented Jupyter File Notebook (With clear steps, some data visualisation, testing, and also model should be saved in the end) Minimum Accuracy should be at least 90%. Deadline : 5th of May Max Budget...

Ich benötige ein Familienwappen mit dem Buchstaben "S" und den Farben Blau Weiß Rot. Gerne auch ein Tier z.B. ein Bär. Ansonsten bin ich in der Gestaltung offen. Es sollte alt Aussehen, also in die Richtung Mittelalter und königlich

I'm looking to data scrape the price of popular electronics across different retailers and online marketplaces in Australia. Some of these Australian websites/competitors include: - - - - - There is also...bigger marketplace giants such as , facebook marketplace (AU) and even amazon. If not possible, we can discuss getting data through external API tools such as or The end goal for collecting this data is to input all this information into our website and creating AI personalised pricing tools. So we can let the customer know what a good bargain price is, what a bad price to sell is, and other important decisions.

I am currently in need of a skilled attorney, preferably with experience in fam...addresses they will not send back an error message. But I owned a domain that I had email at and shut the server down long ago. If you message an un-hosted domain, it will send an "undeliverable" message in return. So by inference her lawyer incorrectly assumed that if he sent an email to one email address and it does not send an error then that was okay, when compared to the other that sent back a bad email or does not exist. That is flawed, they are assuming, that I would have read it?????? I get a ton of spam, that is why i moved to gmail. They also said they attempted to reach my previous lawyer and that he did not return a call. I called, left a message, and he replied the next day. P...

I need to make a song cover with a unique idea, the concept of the theme is an arid desert land with details on the sides where a man's boot like the one in the example photo is shown in the center and at the same time you can see his footprint on the ground with the title of the song "No Mastico Culebras" it means I don't hang with bad people and snakes" so all the concept is like the photo example called "sunset-mountain" If you pay attention to the examples, it is a unique and elegant detail that I am looking for and put together the idea based on the photos. Example of finished design retouch:

For this project i want to get the designs for the back of our hoodies. Now I have everything available, but in bad image quality and only in sketch. Here i need a creative freelancer that can finetune the idea and deliver the needed formats for prints. So here i expect to receive: 1) the designs in png format + svg format. The text part will be easy, but the illustration will need to be redrawn exactly the same and in vector. Here below in small below right we should add the initial: XT. 2) Next to this I also would like to receive the logo in svg format and in bigger png format then it is now. 3) The actual Figma designs should also be should be shared afterwards The purpose is to get it all sharp and detailed, so it can be printed on the hoodies. Thanks in advance and please r...

I'm in need of a skilled programmer who can enhance my current PHP script to embed it into my Wordpress theme. I have a basic understanding of php and sql databases but only enough to read and understand code not really create it. i’ve used chat GPT to create a very basic script and it’s not done a bad job however it’s unfinished. I can share my Chat GPT log so you can see the files created and understand the progress. It’s a simple script and most of the code is created. I need someone who can edit the code and fix the functionality. Here is what i was creating: The project is a web-based system for business reviews. It allows businesses to collect customer feedback through a simple landing page with star ratings and additional review links for e...

I have a simple book for KDP that needs to be formatted rightaway. Right now it is in a pdf, looks bad, chapter headings in wrong places, wasted space on pages, all defective. I need the content stripped out of it, and put into a new file, and i need the epub and the pdf and the pdf cover and jpg cover RIGHTAWAY. budget $30

... **Imagine this:** * Users can search for tournaments and cash games with **filters** that showcase historical and **projected overlay** (when the prize pool is bigger than buy-ins). * **Promotions** become transparent. Think Thursday night football splash pots? Our app factors in the impact (good or bad) on profitability. * **Track your bankroll** alongside your performance, so you can make informed decisions about every hand. **Beyond the Basics:** * **Partner with Study Companies** Think forums for strategy discussions, hand analysis, and even in-app challenges. * **Personalization:** Allow users to tailor the experience to their game style and preferences. Get personalized recommendations

I need a skilled AI/machine learning developer to create an image anomaly detection solution for me. The system...variety of image types, including medical, industrial, and security images. - A reliable anomaly detection algorithm that can provide accurate results in real-time. any solution for checking AI generated images, with the primary goal of detecting errors any solution or software are acceptable even if not made by you from scratch how it works , tool will assess folder of images and choose bad images .. like bad hands .text. any error element , common errors and anomalies if it's possible move error images to other folder , or just provide list of images name images example write 20 in your bid

Instructions: 1. Create Video Card a) Change your video editing software Resolution settings to 576x896 before you start b) Cut any bad video out c) You may chop up the video, reverse it, loop it, or my favorite thing to do: Let it play, duplicate it, reverse the duplicate, so the video is double the length. d) If I didn't think of a name, then it is up to you. Ask CHATG#P$T or some AI for a list of scary/demonic/terrifying/spooky/weird names, try a few different names 2. Animate the writing and Dice.... if you think it looks good, possibly add cool effects/Ai tools/Ai animation/Video enhancement. Do whatever you think is best 3. Add sound (****Please use ONLY 100% Vector copyright free sounds and FX (full commercial use only)(No Attribution required) (Sam...

Instructions: 1. Create Video Card a) Change your video editing software Resolution settings to 576x896 before you start b) Cut any bad video out c) You may chop up the video, reverse it, loop it, or my favorite thing to do: Let it play, duplicate it, reverse the duplicate, so the video is double the length. d) If I didn't think of a name, then it is up to you. Ask CHATG#P$T or some AI for a list of scary/demonic/terrifying/spooky/weird names, try a few different names 2. Animate the writing and Dice.... if you think it looks good, possibly add cool effects/Ai tools/Ai animation/Video enhancement. Do whatever you think is best 3. Add sound (****Please use ONLY 100% Vector copyright free sounds and FX (full commercial use only)(No Attribution required) (Sam...

Instructions: 1. Create Video Card a) Change your video editing software Resolution settings to 576x896 before you start b) Cut any bad video out c) You may chop up the video, reverse it, loop it, or my favorite thing to do: Let it play, duplicate it, reverse the duplicate, so the video is double the length. d) If I didn't think of a name, then it is up to you. Ask CHATG#P$T or some AI for a list of scary/demonic/terrifying/spooky/weird names, try a few different names 2. Animate the writing and Dice.... if you think it looks good, possibly add cool effects/Ai tools/Ai animation/Video enhancement. Do whatever you think is best 3. Add sound (****Please use ONLY 100% Vector copyright free sounds and FX (full commercial use only)(No Attribution required) (Sam...

Instructions: 1. Create Video Card a) Change your video editing software Resolution settings to 576x896 before you start b) Cut any bad video out c) You may chop up the video, reverse it, loop it, or my favorite thing to do: Let it play, duplicate it, reverse the duplicate, so the video is double the length. d) If I didn't think of a name, then it is up to you. Ask CHATG#P$T or some AI for a list of scary/demonic/terrifying/spooky/weird names, try a few different names 2. Animate the writing and Dice.... if you think it looks good, possibly add cool effects/Ai tools/Ai animation/Video enhancement. Do whatever you think is best 3. Add sound (****Please use ONLY 100% Vector copyright free sounds and FX (full commercial use only)(No Attribution required) (Sam...

Instructions: 1. Create Video Card a) Change your video editing software Resolution settings to 576x896 before you start b) Cut any bad video out c) You may chop up the video, reverse it, loop it, or my favorite thing to do: Let it play, duplicate it, reverse the duplicate, so the video is double the length. d) If I didn't think of a name, then it is up to you. Ask CHATG#P$T or some AI for a list of scary/demonic/terrifying/spooky/weird names, try a few different names 2. Animate the writing and Dice.... if you think it looks good, possibly add cool effects/Ai tools/Ai animation/Video enhancement. Do whatever you think is best 3. Add sound (****Please use ONLY 100% Vector copyright free sounds and FX (full commercial use only)(No Attribution required) (Sam...

...tomorrow. You know the drill, Krypto. Krypto: (looking up) Yeah, I know what you mean. I wish I could do better, Kevin. I feel like I should be more than just myself like Atomic man. Panel 4: Kevin (looks at the comic): You think you’ll be better if you were atomic Man krypto? Krypto (throws the comment down onto the ground): Well yeah I don’t have that much powers anymore and I feel like if something bad happens to you, I wouldn’t be able to stop it Kevin: Nothing will happen to you I promise. Page 3: 4 Panels Panel 1: Krypto continues reading the comic, feeling worried about his diminishing powers. Panel 2: Later that night, when Krypto and Kelvin were asleep, a mysterious glow emanates from Krypto's collar. Panel 3: Krypto's red cape emerges from hi...

I'm experiencing a 502 Bad Gateway error on my wordpress multisite, it is intermittent. Key Requirements: - Diagnose the 502 Bad Gateway error affecting the server connection. - Review the server configuration to identify and rectify any misconfigurations causing the issue. - Analyze error logs to pinpoint the source of the problem. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proficiency in server management and troubleshooting, particularly with a focus on resolving 502 Bad Gateway errors. - Extensive experience with Plesk, PHP, Ubuntu and Nginx is a must. - Strong ability to analyze and interpret server error logs. - Excellent communication skills to explain the issue and the resolution process clearly. Please provide a detailed overview of your relevant experience, spe...

Instructions: 1. Create Video Card a) Change your video editing software Resolution settings to 576x896 before you start b) Cut any bad video out c) You may chop up the video, reverse it, loop it, or my favorite thing to do: Let it play, duplicate it, reverse the duplicate, so the video is double the length. d) If I didn't think of a name, then it is up to you. Ask CHATG#P$T or some AI for a list of scary/demonic/terrifying/spooky/weird names, try a few different names 2. Animate the writing and Dice.... if you think it looks good, possibly add cool effects/Ai tools/Ai animation/Video enhancement. Do whatever you think is best 3. Add sound (****Please use ONLY 100% Vector copyright free sounds and FX (full commercial use only)(No Attribution required) (Sam...

...an American accent. - The tone of the voice should be friendly and conversational. - The target audience for these videos is adults, so the voice should be clear and engaging. - This will be for a series of instructional videos for a website/app. Each video is 3 to 10 minutes long. Important: I will provide a quicktime video tutorial with voice instructions. The voice is mine and it's very bad. I need someone to watch and listen to my video and replace my voice with a professional voice. The output will be a new quicktime video with a professional voice. Same words though through out the video. There is no transcript. You will have to listen to the audio/video. Thank you. This project requires a voiceover artist who is not only fluent in American English but...

I'm seeking a solution for checking AI generated images, with the primary goal of detecting errors any solution or software are acceptable even if not made by you how it works , tool will assess folder of images and choose bad images .. like bad hands .text. any error element , common errors and anomalies if it's possible move error images to other folder , or just provide list of images name

...divided into 12 rows. -Incorporation of detailed data for each hour, including the ruler, Islamic ruler, start and end times, status, description, and warnings. Sample Data Format: Hour;Ruler;Ruler Islamic;Start;End;Status;Description;Warning 1;Mars;Zuhre;8:10;8:59;Good;Nice to dance; 2;Moon;Merih;8:59;9:43;Bad;Bad for new starts;Warning Message No3 Additional Features: Dynamic color changes in columns to distinguish between good and bad hours (e.g., light green for good, red for bad). Implementation of warning messages for inauspicious days, triggered if the date coincides with specific Hijri calendar days (3, 5, 13, 16, 21, 24, 25). Technical Specifications: The script can be developed using PHP, Java, JavaScript, or SQL. This is not a project for earn ...

...confident of not being spotted. Hence, computation of overtime payment did not guarantee from overpaying those who did not work and underpaying those who did work. At least one of them would smile all the way to the bank. Linking absentism with productivity was utopian since there were very few measures of corporate performance. Worst of all is that there was no proper means to communicate these bad results to employees since the internal communication system was not supported by proper tools. Having realised that the problem of STS was a big reason to worry, the Board of Directors decided to call your team in as an information strategist and to advise on the following (5 slides only): 1. Setting the context (Slide 1) 2. In broad lines, how can you help improve the business o...

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...stating whether the website is known to be good, known to be dodgy, or a warning if it is potentially fraudulent. See screenshot called shows an example of the sort of thing we are after. Please design and submit screenshots of an HTML panel will show at the top of a web page in Google Chrome. It should have the following sections:   - An icon that shows the detection severity (Good, bad, warning).   - Heading (E.G. "ZenProtect Warning").   - Text body (E.G. "This page appears to be impersonating a Microsoft login page. We recommend closing the page unless you know it is safe").  - A subtle "More info" button (This button doesn't need to do anything in the submission). Attached are a few sample images showing the types o...

I urgently need help with my current Nginx 1.18 on Ubuntu 20.04. A "502 Bad Gateway" error has started appearing, which I've traced back to a recent update. Key Details: - The specific issue is linked to the latest update. Clear explanations of how the update affected Nginx would be helpful. - Access to server logs will be granted. Any error messages related to the "502 Bad Gateway" error need to be identified and resolved. - Knowledge on configuration optimization is desirable as you might need to tweak some settings during the process. Ideal Skills: - Proficient with Nginx 1.18 operations on Ubuntu 20.04 - Strong troubleshooting and debugging skills - Experience with server administration and Linux systems Your task will be to troubleshoot and f...

I'm in dire need of a professional who can execute a savvy Facebook campaign for an upcoming automotive event. Our goal is quite straightforward - we want to attract both bad and good credit buyers and turn them into immediate car sales. Ideal Skillset: - Proven experience in executing Facebook campaigns - Knowledge on how to target both good and bad credit buyers - A track record in generating car sales through social media campaigns Your task will involve the following: - Creating engaging and persuasive ads - Targeting the right audience (bad and good credit buyers) - Monitoring and optimising the campaign for maximum car sales Remember, the success of this campaign will purely be gauged on the number of car sales achieved. We're looking to act fas...

I need someone who can emulate a piece of software that has already been made. This software is out dated and was made circa 2002-2004. What you need to know : This game is old (it was released in 2001) and the infrastructure is not as complex as newer mmorpg titles. This might be good and it might be bad but it helps to know. Some radars were released/developed for the original game but they no longer work. Here's an example of one: DAoC Skilla was made for the original game but it is no longer working because the version was built back in the early 2000s and support was not kept. There are source files on that website that you might find useful to copy as well as UI elements that might make this project make more sense. Things you need

I have a CS-Cart Multi-Vendor site that experienced a severe breakdown following a failed upgrade. This has led to a range of issues from broken layout to persistent error messages. Additionally, after the failed upgrade, the database is out of sync. The site needs urgent attention to get it back on track. Your primary role on this project will be: - Debug and fix the bad upgrade: This includes addressing the broken layout, error messages, and the out-of-sync database issue. - Server Configuration & Security Audit: Given that I've made changes to the server configuration and security settings post the failed upgrade, it's crucial to assess these modifications and ensure they're functioning optimally and not contributing to the site's issues. - Optimization...

We are a local church and people are creating websites saying bad things about us that arent true. We need those pushed down so people dont find them. We dont want to do anything negative to those site but create new sites or blogs etc to bury them.

I have Arduino code and a svc model and I’m using a application called Blynk for visualization I want to send the reading of the moisture sensor to the svc model as an input for prediction and send the prediction back to the Blynk or Arduino so if the output is 0 it stop watering and if its 1 it start watering

I have Arduino code and a svc model and I’m using a application called Blynk for visualization I want to send the reading of the moisture sensor to the svc model as an input for prediction and send the prediction back to the Blynk or Arduino so if the output is 0 it stop watering and if its 1 it start watering

...in, lots and lots of false dui arrests. I am lucky with the means and a federal prosecutor brother to know to go and get tested by a lab immediately after they did, also hire an MRO…. But the whole-of-community to prevent, protect against, mitigate, respond to, and recover from this, I don’t think people understand false arrests can be the cops killing you not by gun but by smearing your name so bad you want to give up. Here actually I blame forensics more, but we will chat. Please apply if this is you!...

I'm seeking a killer videographer capable of compiling short, engaging videos for my social media platforms, which include TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube shorts. A key part of your role would involve scrapping relevant content from various social media channels in New Zealand. This content should end up with massive reach and engagement and ran...doesnt know how effective it is. We need a person that wants to win and if you win we will share the $$ We need 4 short snack videos per day and need each video done in 1 hour max. Some videos may take longer. After two weeks we will be happy to start discussing more work in a really interesting news area. Do you want to be the best and work with leaders in news media? Do not apply if you are bad at communicating, or sl...

I'm looking for a talented web developer to transform my Figma file into an interactive, grid layout webpage. This is a great opportunity for someone who is looking for a challenging project which will demonstrate their ability to implement effective, modern design principles. Here are the key deliverabl...understanding of HTML & CSS. - Experience in converting Figma designs into webpages. - Strong background in responsive design principles. - Clean and well organized code NO Javascript expected. There's no form submission functionality required. I expect a high quality of code, which allows for easy future modifications. If you have the skillset and an eye for detail, then this project is for you. Bad coding practices will be rejected. Please only bid if you can de...

Big Bad Bee is the logo im looking for. Thinking tough looking Bee ( Hornet , Wasp) in front of a Baseball. I have something semi put together it just needs tweaked (i think). This logo will go on a sleeve of a baseball jersey as well as the back of a sweatshirt ,maybe on a hat too. It needs to be detailed enough when it gets scaled to be printed on the back of a sweatshirt it doesnt get pixalated. Im attaching a pic of what i have (kind of) in mind. Im thinking if the Bee could be placed in front of a baseball it would be perfect. But im open to other ideas.

I have a website that gives me access to educational content, however, i am unable to download the videos, even with a plugin from chrome. the reason for this is that the creator of the website has made it very difficult. the reason i would like to do this is because I live in a country with bad internet and i would like to receive an education so i can move far away from this 3rd world country. requirements: understand how to manage a website and its code, where the website wont even let me right click under no circumstances can access to the website be granted to the freelancer, instead, i am willing to share screen and i expect a very detailed step by step process on how to maneuver around the issue that i am facing. thank you.

Flyer need for boxing show promotion. Theme is Michael Jackson Thriller ( just to avoid using Michael Jackson face, so use like silhouette or side of face or bad is good). The good is just put it in a boxing ring and make the text like the work "THRILLER" show in example of images. Please make is entertaining for boxing and very sophisticated. This is more of announcing event, without full details. Information must have on the flyer: Galveston Battle of the Badges ( and the logo) Boxing ring with possible fighters with head gear Michael jackson with thriller zombies Make it pop and use the theme, use the thriller txt. (Date) November 2024 Please get creative and use elegance and vivacious quality like vegas style. Attached give you style fo boxing flyer I'm looking...

1 picture to be edited Change the faces on the picture. First picture is a bad Example of a badly edited picture of what I would like. Attached other three donor pictures.

This project is fairly simple for the right expert. I have 2 kinds of domains. a) Freshly registered domains b) existing domains with LOW or BAD domain reputation at Google Postmaster Tools I need someone to take my domains and get them to HIGH domain reputation in Google Postmaster Tools. You have to use your OWN tools. you cant use my servers for this task. you will take a domain and will deliver a HIGH reputation. I will setup the correct dns, but you cant send email from my servers. Please Bid how much you want to do each domain. your Bid must be for 1 Domain. This should be a simple and straight forward task for the right person with the right tools. I am expecting an affordable bid. I will have many domains for this on an ongoing basis and I want some one to work with l...

READ BEFORE BIDING - Marketer Only with PERFORMANCE MARKETING EXPERIENCE SEO ROI BASED SALES ONLINE WHO HAVE TRACK RECORDS AND SHARE DATA OF PAST WORK WITH BAD EXPERIENCE IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY OF THIS PLEASE DON'T BID We're looking for a skilled professional to help achieve our main objectives of performance marketing, which are: sales boost, SEO improvement, and brand awareness enhancement. Our current marketing methods are SEO and paid advertising. Our target audience lies primarily between the ages of 25 and 44. This role requires: - Solid understanding and hands-on experience with SEO and paid advertising platforms. - Experience in creating and implementing performance marketing strategies for 25 to 44-year-old demographics. - A track record of enhanced bran...