Cancelled

Clever developers willing to learn Lisp (no Lisp experience is necessary) Posted 21 Mar 2009

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To Apply for this Job

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Please copy and paste the following information into a GetAFreelancer Private Message:

"I would require $1000- $1500 for working 200 hours per month without any benefits whatsoever. Because I choose to participate in the '10 Hour Probationary Period' please provide me with the first 2 hour test."

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Rate and Hours

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I intend to pay each developer $1000- $1500 for working 200 hours per month. That is 5 US dollars to 7.50 US dollars per hour.

Please do not bid for this project if you require a higher rate.

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Overview

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I am currently looking for 1 or 2 or 3 very clever, full-time software application developers (not mere coders) to work with 200 hours per month for at least a year but hopefully longer.

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Work whichever hours of the day you prefer

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I would permit you to work any hours of the day you prefer. In other words, I do not care which hours of the day you work.

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If I cancel this project...

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GetAFreelancer providers are very reluctant to apply for "stale" GetAFreelancer projects. Therefore, to attract applicants I frequently repost this project.

Therefore, If I were to cancel this project while you are still participating in the 10 Hour Probationary Period, please do not assume I have rejected you. Instead, please send me a GetAFreelancer Private Message for the next- almost identical project- I will have posted on GetAFreelancer.

Unless I inform you via a GetAFreelancer Private Message that I am not interested in working with you, I encourage you to continue to participate in the 10 Hour Probationary Period.

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What a long advertisement!

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I've received lots of questions and had lots of problems. Therefore, I have continually updated this advertisement. I believe strongly that, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."

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Why do I keep reposting this job on GetAFreelancer?

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Why not?

I like to consider many candidates. The world is full of software developers. Furthermore, I offer an attractive job: working from home doing cutting edge software development.

However, most applicants who apply for this job don't meet my standards. Therefore I reject them. In this regard I am not unique; I am normal.

If you are young and inexperienced you may find this paragraph strange, unfair, or difficult to believe, but in the software business the vast majority of candidates who apply for jobs as software developers are rejected. Really.

If I reject you and if you are wise you will use rejection to build character and humility; if you are foolish you will become enraged and bitter because your pride has been wounded. The world is full of enraged and bitter men who walk around with wounded pride because they have been rejected. You are free to join their ranks if you like. As the saying goes, "Misery loves company."

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10 Hour Probationary Period

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I have found that most candidates who apply for jobs on GetAFreelancer are either not really serious (perhaps they are upset with their boss and “Internet dreaming” about a better job somewhere "out there") or or not sufficiently talented (such as, the vast majority of PHP coders). To quickly and easily weed out these candidates I require that you successfully complete my 10 Hour Probationary Period.

If you apply then I will assign you one 2 hour project. If I am satisfied with how you have performed then I will assign you a second two hour project.

If I am again satisfied with how you have performed I will repeat this process three more times until you have completed five such two hour assignments.

If I am satisfied with how you have performed then I will pay you for 10 hours of your work. Then you will advance to the 30 Day Probationary Period.

However, if I am *not* satisfied with how you have performed then I will *not* pay you any monies whatsoever for the 10 hours you have worked and I will terminate my relationship with you.

In other words, I require that you work 10 hours yet risk receiving no compensation whatsoever. Therefore, if you are not willing to risk working 10 hours for free, you should not apply for this job.

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Steel Bank Common Lisp (SBCL)

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You must develop software for us using Steel Bank Common Lisp (SBCL) [url removed, login to view] My development server runs Apache and mod_lisp.

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But I don't have any Lisp experience?!?

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Of course, I assume you have practically no experience developing with Lisp. I know that very, very few developers use Lisp. Therefore, I recommend you review "Practical Common Lisp" [url removed, login to view] and "Common Lisp HyperSpec" [url removed, login to view]

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Lisp? Why Lisp?

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Why did I choose Lisp? Isn't Lisp almost, well, almost a dead language? Sort of. I realize that Lisp is hardly used in software development except by a very small group of elite software developers. I chose Lisp for one simple reason: I believe it is the best tool available for building most of the software I need. In other words, I think Lisp is a great language. If you study Lisp I suspect you'll think it's a great language too.

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Are you sure you want to use Lisp? Really?

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Yes. I did not inadvertently or naively choose Lisp. Not at all. I very carefully weighed the pros and cons of various languages and chose to use Lisp.

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If you prefer to use Java or .NET

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If you prefer to use Java or .NET then you definitely should not apply for this job. I do not like those languages at all. I feel strongly that those languages are like diseases. However, I do not mind if you currently develop in one of those languages and, like a refugee from a war zone, are seeking to escape.

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If you prefer to use Perl, Python, and Ruby on Rails

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Even though I like and respect Perl, Python, and Ruby on Rails, if you prefer to use one of these languages then you should not apply for this job either. I know Perl is for the old-timers, Python is what they use at Google, and that "all the cool kids" these days use Ruby on Rails.

I am not trying to be "old school" [url removed, login to view] by using Perl or to be like Google by using Python or to be cool (dude) by using Ruby and Rails. No. I am attempting to develop great software.

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Clever and Eager Autodidacts Wanted

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You must be willing to teach yourself Steel Bank Common Lisp. I will *not* pay for you to learn Steel Bank Common Lisp.

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Internet Access

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You must currently have a *reliable* high speed Internet connection (DSL, Cable, T-1, etc), a reliable computer, and a suitable place to work which you provide at your own expense.

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Note to "Lispers"

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If you consider yourself a "Lisper" please read this section carefully.

Lispers seem to be a breed of uber-nerds (super nerds) who are extremely clever in some ways but utterly foolish in others. Lisp is an excellent language for developing software but generally I find Lispers to be arrogant, annoying, and not worth dealing with. (Of course if you were to ask a Lisper who has dealt with me, he would probably tell you I'm arrogant, annoying, and not worth dealing with).

Therefore, if you are a Lisper, unless you are an unusual Lisper, please don't apply for this job. Instead, please go back to commiserate with your fellow Lispers about how hardly any Lisp jobs exist. Ok?

I am looking for clever autodidacts who want to learn Lisp. I am not looking for self-appointed high priests of Lisp (Lispers), who think that I should be thankful that such a brave and enlightened genius like yourself has deigned to apply for this job.

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Software Developers Wanted, not Heads-Down Coders

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[url removed, login to view]

"I guarantee you that if your programmers are heads-down cubicle-bound code-crankers 90% of the time, then much of that time is wasted."

If you are a heads-down coder who wants clear and concise specifications that will enable you to put your head down and crank out code, please do not apply for this job.

I am looking to work with software developers not mere coders. I believe that software developers are supposed to receive "stories" (general problems and ideas) from clients and/or customers not "specifications." I believe that software developers are supposed to help gather business requirements and then design mockups (screenshots and screencasts) before they ever begin coding.

I believe that then software developers are supposed to create the specifications. Yes. I actually believe that software developers are supposed to create the specifications. If you are now thinking to yourself something like,

"What?!? No way! I'm a programmer not a designer man! I write code! I require specifications to code to!"

Then please do not apply for this job.

I believe that the idea that Systems Analysts and User Interface Designers will create excellent specifications for Head-Down Coders is ludicrous.

If you are not very comfortable spending much time both analyzing business requirements and designing mockups before you ever begin to code then please do not apply for this job.

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Employee Benefits? None. Zero.

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I will provide you with no benefits whatsoever. No medical benefits. No paid holidays. Nothing.

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Fees and Commissions

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I will not pay any of the fees and commissions you will be required to pay to actually receive the money I transfer to you.

“But, but, but... what do you mean?”

Let me explain. For example, if I am regularly paying you to work with me via GetAFreelancer you will likely find it beneficial to pay the 12 US dollars so that you may pay your GetAFreelancer "Gold Membership" fee. I would not reimburse you for that fee.

You alone will be responsible for paying any and all fees, commissions, etcetera associated with withdrawing and receiving your money from GetAFreelancer. There are several different ways you can withdraw and receive your money from GetAFreelancer. They are listed here [url removed, login to view] You should study them carefully. I repeat: you should study them carefully.

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Getting Paid

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Unless you live in the USA, if you successfully complete the 10 hour probationary period, you and I will negotiate your hourly rate in your local currency.

As a result you would not receive more of your local currency if the US dollar were to strengthen against your local currency, but conversely you would receive less of your local currency if the US dollar were to weaken against your local currency.

Are you confused yet? Here's a hypothetical to help explain what I mean.

To keep it simple let's say you were going to work for 1 US dollar per hour. Of course you aren't but this will keep the example simple. Also let's say you live on the moon and that the currency used on the moon is called "Moon rocks.” And let's say the exchange rate from US dollars to Moon rocks fluctuates, often on a daily basis.

Now let's say currently the mid-market exchange rate [url removed, login to view] listed at [url removed, login to view] is 1.0000 US dollar = 2.000 Moon rocks. Then instead of agreeing to pay you 1.0000 US dollars for each hour you worked with me, you and I would agree that I would pay you the US dollar equivalent of 2.000 Moon rocks based on the mid-market exchange rate listed at [url removed, login to view] on the day I pay you for a particular GetAFreelancer project.

“Huh? What? Mid-market what?” Let me explain.

Let's say you were working with me full-time, that that we had agreed that you would normally work 10 hours per day (20 days per month), and that I would pay you for each project via GetAFreelancer on a daily basis.

“Oh. Ok. Yes. I understand that.” Good.

Then each day you were going to work for me I would have posted a 10 hour project (one day's worth of work) for you on GetAFreelancer worded similar to the following:

“Please bid 10 US dollars for this project because this is a 10 hour project, and because your rate for working 10 hours is the mid-market exchange rate posted at [url removed, login to view] for the US dollar equivalent of 20.0000 Moon rocks, and because according to the mid-market exchange rate posted at [url removed, login to view] 20.0000 Moon rocks approximately equals 10.000 US Dollars.

Then on the day I pay you via GetAFreelancer for this project, I will calculate the exact payment by converting 20.0000 Moon rocks to US Dollars according to the mid-market exchange rate posted at [url removed, login to view] and pay you that number of US dollars via GetAFreelancer.”

Now, in practice this would not complete shield you from the vagaries of the exchange rate between your local currency and the US dollar.

First, the mid-market exchange rate posted at [url removed, login to view] is a compromise between the “ask” and the “buy” price as is explained here [url removed, login to view]

Second, you won't normally be able to withdraw your money from GetAFreelancer on the exact day I transfer it to you. Instead typically you'll need to wait a few days before GetAFreelancer transfers the money to you. During that time the exchange rate may change.

Third, GetAFreelancer transfers the money (which you have requested to withdraw) to a to the third party you choose on the GetAFreelancer website (such as, say, MoneyBookers or your bank). This third party will charge you commissions and/or fees as well.

The process is slightly convoluted, but it's actually about as simple as is feasible. Given the difficulty of conveying small amounts of money rapidly to people who live literally all around the world, this system is actually fairly elegant.

Of course if all countries abolished paper money and used “real money” (money that has stood the test of time) such as gold and silver, conveying money to you would be much simpler and elegant. But politicians like to be able to print money whenever they like. Although it is literally an oxymoron, I tend to think of governments as “legalized counterfeiters.”

Think about it for a moment. On Sunday night I might post a 10 hour project for you on GetAFreelancer which you could work on Monday for 10 hours. Then, before you begin work on Tuesday, you would have normally have received a notification from GetAFreelancer that I had transferred the money I owed you from my GetAFreelancer account to your GetAFreelancer account. Furthermore, you would not need to worry much about the exchange rate between your local currency and the US dollar.

Like I mentioned, I prefer gold and silver, but we are stuck for now using money that, in large part, literally grows on trees.

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Taxes?

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I will not withhold any taxes from your compensation whatsoever nor will I report your earnings to you local tax authorities. That will be your responsibility alone.

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After the 10 Hour Probationary Period

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I will post projects exclusively for you on GetAFreelancer to work on. Typically these projects will be 4 hours long. You will typically have 2 days to complete these projects. These projects will rarely have a specific deliverable. Instead they will typically be something like, "Work for 4 hours on XYZ and then report your findings."

You *must* sign, scan, and convey to me via the Internet, my NDA (non-disclosure agreement). Of course I would provide you copy of my NDA for you to review if I am interested in working with you.

You *must* scan and convey to me via the Internet copy of your national identification, passport, or similar document. To protect your privacy, you may redact (obfuscate) the document number such as the national identification number or passport number.

"Huh? Why do you need that information? Are you trying to steal my identity!" No.

Of course many folks seem to immediately worry about this sort of thing. If I were in your position I certainly would. Take a look at your passport or national identification card. If you cover over the document number, what's left? A photo of you your name, your address, your gender, and your birthday.

I want this information because if you work with me then you will be gradually create more and more valuable intellectual property for me. Therefore, I want to be able to verify your identity so that I can sue you in a court of law in the event you steal my intellectual property. Doesn't that make sense?

If you are unwilling to provide me with this information or any information I require, please do *not* apply to work with me.

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The 30 calendar day probationary period following the 10 hour probationary period

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During the 30 calendar day probationary period following the 10 hour probationary period, I will allow you to work as few as an average of 2 hours per day (excluding Saturdays and Sundays when I don't expect you to work) but may allow you to work up to an average of 10 hours per day (excluding Saturdays and Sundays when I don't expect you to work). In other words, after the 10 hour probationary period I may allow you to begin working full-time with me.

However, I will not require you to begin working full-time during this 30 day period. Why? Because I realize you may currently, for example, have a full-time job which you probably don't like, but at least your current salary "pays your bills."

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After the 30 calendar day probationary period you must be available to work 200 hours per month

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However, after this 30 calendar day probationary period, I will require you to work 200 hours each month with me. Therefore, if you currently have a full-time job or other commitments which would interfere with you working 200 hours each month with us, then after you complete the 30 day probationary period you will almost certainly need to cease working at your current job and/or abandon your other commitments.

In other words, after the 30 calendar day probationary period I am not interested in working with you on a part-time basis. I am only willing to work with you on a part-time basis until you complete the 30 calendar day probationary period so that both you and we may become confident that we should work together on a full-time basis. Please do not apply for this job unless you are willing to work 200 hours each month with me after you complete the 30 calendar day probationary period.

In other words, I realize that many software developers reviewing the opportunities on GetAFreelancer are looking for part-time work. After all, this website is called GetAFreelancer not GetAnEmployee. However, if you are looking for a "side job" or some part-time work to supplement your current income and are therefore hoping to work, say, 50 to 100 hours per month, then please do not apply for this job.

I am only interested in working with candidates who will be willing to work 200 hours each month with me after they complete the initial 30 calendar day period.

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What about Vacations?

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I do not provide any benefits whatsoever. None. Zero. Nothing. Of course I know you'll take vacations. Immediately below I describe that you would not be paid for vacations you take.

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Hours per Month

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I would allow you to work more 200 hours per month. For example, if you were to work 250 hours in one month, then I'd pay you for 250 hours. Of course, if, say, you were to take a vacation and therefore only worked 50 hours in a particular month, then I'd only pay you for 50 hours for that month.

However, except when you are sick or go on vacation, you must be willing to work 200 hours per month. And no, you may not take 4 or 5 "vacations" per month in order to work, say, 75 hours per month so that you can keep your current full-time job, stay in school, fulfill your military service, etc. You must be willing to normally work 200 hours per month.

If you work more than 200 hours per month I'll pay you more, but if you work less more than 200 hours per month I'll pay you less. I am not paternalistic. I won't "take care of you." I am interested in a simple and straightforward contractual relationship in which I pay you for each hour you work and in which you commit to work an average of 200 hours/month (except for those months when you take unpaid vacations or unpaid sick days).

If you want a job with any sort of typical benefits such as paid vacations, medical care, retirement pensions, etcetera this is not the job for you. I am going to pay you strictly by the hour. If this approach seems too brutal or callous or unforgiving I suggest you get a "regular" job with a "regular" company.

Skills: .NET, C Programming, Java, Linux, Ruby on Rails

See more: learn lisp, lisp dollar, zero-zone, young software developers, young software developer looking for, young's market company, young's market, young programmers, young designer job, young computer programmers, you can do what you want to do, xe com, www when to work com, www small home business, www internet business ideas com, www how to write a report, www get a coder com sign up, www developers com, www coding org, write your own stories, write your own book for kids, write up a report for court, write together get paid, write three wants, write the book you want to read

About the Employer:
( 109 reviews ) Los Angeles, United States

Project ID: #405962

18 freelancers are bidding on average $1247 for this job

nextbill

Hello Sir, I am interested in working with you. Thanks.

$1500 USD in 10 days
(6 Reviews)
6.5
ByteStrikersSoft

"I would require $1000- $1500 for working 200 hours per month without any benefits whatsoever. Because I choose to participate in the '10 Hour Probationary Period' please provide me with the first 2 hour test."

$750 USD in 7 days
(3 Reviews)
3.1
souvik2008

"I would require $1000- $1500 for working 200 hours per month without any benefits whatsoever. Because I choose to participate in the '10 Hour Probationary Period' please provide me with the first 2 hour test."

$1400 USD in 30 days
(1 Review)
2.1
ahmedaj

I would require $1000- $1500 for working 200 hours per month without any benefits whatsoever. Because I choose to participate in the '10 Hour Probationary Period' please provide me with the first 2 hour test

$1500 USD in 30 days
(1 Review)
2.0
bdzahirul

§ Having about five years working experience in Software Design, Development, Team Management and Implementation § Strong exposure in requirement gathering, requirement analysis, software design, software development, More

$750 USD in 7 days
(1 Review)
2.8
sandeep7

I have seen this ads many times here on GAF. May be you want to collect in formation like email IDs, Address and fone number. People wins business woth millions. I have done nearing 5 million from GAF. So stop More

$1500 USD in 30 days
(0 Reviews)
0.0
sohailshaikhjobs

Count me in

$1500 USD in 0 days
(0 Reviews)
0.0
Kirusha

I would require $1000- $1500 for working 200 hours per month without any benefits whatsoever. Because I choose to participate in the '10 Hour Probationary Period

$1000 USD in 30 days
(1 Review)
1.6
ketan

I would require $1000- $1500 for working 200 hours per month without any benefits whatsoever. Because I choose to participate in the '10 Hour Probationary Period' please provide me with the first 2 hour test.

$1500 USD in 30 days
(1 Review)
0.0
htrob

I would require $1000- $1500 for working 200 hours per month without any benefits whatsoever. Because I choose to participate in the '10 Hour Probationary Period' please provide me with the first 2 hour test

$1500 USD in 1 day
(0 Reviews)
0.0
essweb

Hi I am ready to do test work for 2 hours. thnx,

$1000 USD in 20 days
(0 Reviews)
0.0
sdubey06

I would require $1000- $1500 for working 200 hours per month without any benefits whatsoever. Because I choose to participate in the '10 Hour Probationary Period' please provide me with the first 2 hour test

$1000 USD in 10 days
(0 Reviews)
0.0
ProggerGood

Hello. PLease check PMB.

$1500 USD in 60 days
(3 Reviews)
3.6
NeoTeam

I would require $1000- $1500 for working 200 hours per month without any benefits whatsoever. Because I choose to participate in the '10 Hour Probationary Period' please provide me with the first 2 hour test.

$1000 USD in 30 days
(0 Reviews)
0.0
Koco

I really like lisp. I have studied lisp for fun, cause i could not find any project to work on and test my skills. I am already experienced in python, ruby, php, java and [url removed, login to view] is a great opportunity to work on li More

$1300 USD in 0 days
(0 Reviews)
0.0
jugtio

Very interested in working with you

$750 USD in 1 day
(0 Reviews)
0.0
fullzero

Who knows, maybe this job from God... or maybe you just foolish me. Anyway. We with my friend have worked more than 3 years with Bunzl corporation as remote contractors. Our software (Java client, and cluster of Bea We More

$1500 USD in 1 day
(0 Reviews)
0.0
avhijit11

Hi I am a professional WEB and WINDOWS application developer. I develop a lot of Website in ASP.NET. But for agreement purpose i can not give u the link here because this is an open area. I also develope a total ba More

$1500 USD in 9 days
(0 Reviews)
0.0